Culpable
by Mist on the Glass
Summary: Naruto never lies. So when he gets into the habit of doing it, it becomes his downfall. Sakura feels that Naruto is to blame for lying to her about Sasuke. And Sasuke just doesn't feel anymore. NaruSasu, one-shot.


SasuNaru one-shot.

I was in a foul mood when I wrote this. It helped relieve the tension.

**Angst Alert. You have been warned.**

A'ight! *Claps Hands*

If you're still here, then....

PLAYLIST! :)

Listen to: 'Take One Breath' of The Spill Canvas while you read this. It's beautiful, and it captures the mixture of emotions that I tried, and most likely failed to portray. :)

(Put it on repeat. I think the song will finish before you actually finish the story. XD)

* * *

Culpable

"Naruto!"

The last thing Naruto heard before he fell unconscious was Sasuke's cry - he caught him as he fell, shaking him gently to start off with, then more and more vigorously.

"Stay with me, Naruto!"

Naruto wasn't dead. He just wasn't conscious.

Some people don't lie. They just don't tell the truth.

* * *

Naruto heard the shuffling of feet behind him; he turned to see Sakura, who was looking more than a little miserable. Naruto rolled his eyes. This had something to do with Sasuke. Of that he was 99.9% sure. Sakura sniffed, and Naruto opened his arms with a vacant expression etched on his face. His mind was elsewhere, but his body had time to comfort his friend. That was, after all, one of the things that he was best at.

"Today," Sakura began quietly, as she stumbled into the waiting orange space.

"Was the day he left," Naruto finished - more than aware of the anniversary of Sasuke's departure - as he wrapped his arms around his friend. He had been through this procedure for three years running since _he_ had left. He wondered if Sakura would get over it, and he doubted it. Very much.

Haruno Sakura missed Uchiha Sasuke. That much was clear. Uzumaki Naruto didn't miss Uchiha Sasuke. Instead he ached. Constantly.

Not that he would ever tell anyone that. It was easier to let everyone think that Sakura was the one who was suffering most, when really, Naruto was dying inside. He was shutting down - a battery with slowly weakening electrodes.

If Sasuke was oxygen, Naruto had been living in a vacuum for the past three years.

If Sasuke was water, Naruto had been dehydrated for the past three years.

If Sasuke was the sun, Naruto had been enveloped in darkness for the past three years.

Sasuke was a life source. The first life source that had a life of its own, along with needs, and ambitions. He wasn't a very reliable life source.

Sometimes Naruto wondered what Sasuke would have done had he known how much he affected him. His emotions, his senses, his _purpose_ - all shifted slightly whenever Sasuke came into the room. They all gravitated towards him, _including _him - all having something to do with spending the rest of his life with the raven boy he had come to know so well.

Sasuke and Naruto had the ideal relationship - they were a microcosmic representation of all that was friendship, rivalry, brotherhood, comradeship - they were a perfect match, in teamwork and in friendship. They were the very _definition_ of the words 'soul mates,' only half of the equation hadn't figured it out yet; at least, that was how it seemed to Naruto, back then, when Sasuke was still by his side.

Now, he wasn't so sure.

"I wonder where he is," murmured Sakura from Naruto's neck - she had somehow managed to bury her face there; hiding herself from the rest of the world, although not being fully able to hide herself from her pain.

Her pain, which didn't even compare to Naruto's. Because even if he didn't notice it as much anymore, it was always there - his dull ache. He knew that when, not if, _when_ Sasuke returned, that ache would cease, and he would feel like he wasn't really there - if you've been hurting for longer than you can remember, sometimes it hurts more when the pain goes away; although that secondary 'Sasuke returns' pain, Naruto could, and would live with that. Forever.

"Sound," Naruto muttered, never fully understanding Sound's attraction - a perverted man whose speciality was snakes and evil deeds, an annoying sidekick who liked card games... Naruto was sure that Sasuke was having the time of his life. He knew deep down that the time had nearly come; Sasuke would soon kill those that he didn't need and be on his way. He must have drained Orochimaru of his knowledge by now, of this Naruto was certain.

"Yeah...but, what do you think he's doing?" Sakura asked, looking up from Naruto's neck into his eyes, begging him to answer truthfully; and Naruto wouldn't, because even though he could never lie to Sakura, he could about the only one who affected him more than all the others. Of all the other people that helped pick up the pieces of Naruto's shattered childhood, and put it back together again, Sasuke found the highest number of pieces, and stayed after everyone else left to help him stick them back together again. _That_ was why Naruto was able to lie in the current situation that had been presented to him.

"Learning. What about you?"

"I was hoping that he'd be thinking about us," Sakura whispered, looking away from Naruto's eyes, disappointed in herself. "I shouldn't love him, but I still do. It's not fair. He's hurt me, why do I still feel for him?"

Naruto said nothing, but his mind was running wild. _He hurt Sakura...but he hurt me more. He ripped me apart, chewed me up, spat me out, stamped on me, put me in a blender, and then put whatever was left in acid. _

_Hypothetically, obviously. Sasuke doesn't own a blender._

_Why is Sakura acting so selfishly? Is it because I never said how much I was hurting earlier? Maybe I should have told her right after Sasuke left. _

_But she never asked._

_She just expected me to be there for her, to help her through it. I was never asked how I was feeling, if any of this was affecting me, when really it was affecting me more than anyone. Sakura doesn't care that much, she just acts miserable on this day, and then the rest she's the same as always. Gossiping with Ino about Shikamaru, hanging out, going on missions...life goes on for her. And I guess it does for me, too, on the outside at least. Maybe she's just a good actor, like me. _

_But then why would she be flirting with Sai? Is Sai the new Sasuke?_

"I don't think that Sasuke would remember the anniversary," Naruto mumbled, loosening his hold around Sakura, "he doesn't care about us enough." He placed his hands on her shaking shoulders, tipping her face up with his thumb; he forced her gaze into his. She penetrated him, although now he didn't feel the same shudder he used to feel when he was twelve whenever she looked his way. That crush didn't exist anymore.

She opened her mouth slightly to speak, then closed it again - not quite able to say what she had in mind.

Naruto's hand curled around a slip of paper in his pocket. A secret kept for three years today. That was impressive for someone with a big mouth. He knew what the paper said by heart, but he kept it with him. That and his memories were all he had left of Sasuke, and he would keep them close forever.

_Naruto,_

_While I'm gone, remember to take one breath, and then take another. Repeat these simple steps until I get back, which will be soon. I'd give it about three years._

_Remember to breathe, and try not to miss me._

_Sasuke_

His fingers caressed the note, with its rough edges, and fading ink. The note which had been strategically placed inside his ramen box exactly three years ago. The note that he hadn't told a soul about.

Even though Naruto, as a general rule, hated liars, he couldn't bring himself to tell Sakura about that slip of paper, however significant it might be to her. It did, after all, show that Sasuke was intending to come home, but in Sakura's eyes, it would be for the wrong reason. So instead, Naruto had been there for her, until she could stand on her own two feet again. Even if it meant sacrificing a part of himself to do so, Naruto was willing. The way he saw it, his whole being was tainted, or ruined in some way anyway, so he didn't mind ridding himself of parts that were 'diseased'. The only parts he refused to give away were his memories, the sad ones because they reminded him of what he used to be, and could revert back to if he wasn't careful, or the happy ones because they pointed him in the right direction whenever he was feeling down, or 'infected'.

Infected with sorrow.

Sorrow which everyone expressed in a different way.

Naruto liked to pretend that nothing was wrong. He somehow found solace by blocking out the pain - a test of his own strength.

Sakura liked to be in the company of a friend - someone to hold her together in her moment of weakness. Even though Sakura was 'super-strong', emotions were an exception. She couldn't combat them, much as she'd like to.

Sasuke liked to be alone - sitting at the side of the lake, sometimes glaring down at his reflection, sometimes hurling stones into the water viciously, watching them distort his face, sinking further down, until they met the bottom. Once or twice, when he was younger, Sasuke found himself with company. He hadn't minded it so much; he didn't find Naruto as annoying as he made out most of the time. In contrast, he actually found the blonde easy to talk to - definitely not an Uchiha trait. Uchiha didn't discuss their problems with others; they kept what was bothering them to themselves. Sasuke didn't conform to the Uchiha rules, but, seeing as he was the last, it didn't matter anyway. He could reinvent the Uchiha clan, or he could leave it to die out.

Naruto wondered which Sasuke would choose.

"He...doesn't care? Is that really what you think?" Sakura questioned in disbelief, never before had she heard something so negative come from Naruto's mouth.

"Yes. He cared once, I won't deny that. But... things changed. The world opened up to him, and then he had options. Stay and rot here in Konoha with us," Naruto hesitated as he caught sight of Sakura's fierce glare, "or take flight and fulfil his ambition. It was bound to happen, Sakura. Sasuke needed to leave."

"But, if what you say is true, then Sasuke will never come home."

"That's why I'm here. To force him."

"He won't listen to you if he doesn't care! We'll never get him back!" Sakura exclaimed in despair. Her outburst did not faze Naruto, who ploughed on.

"I'll make him listen. Sasuke's not as good at cutting ties as he thinks. I never said he stopped having the _capability_ to care."

"So," Sakura asked, looking a bit confused, "you think you can make him listen to reason?"

"I might not need to," Naruto whispered to himself, almost like he had forgotten who he was talking to, like Sakura wasn't even there.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Either I make Sasuke see sense, or I pummel him and drag him back against his will."

Sakura smiled, finally satisfied. "You would go so far for me. Thank you, Naruto."

Naruto frowned. Where had he specified that he was doing this for her? In all honesty, Naruto was bringing Sasuke home for his own selfish reasons, and that was all there was to it. Of course he would never voice this out loud. No, he would have to be a little more subtle.

"I'm not doing this for you, Sakura." Yes. Subtle.

Sakura's eyes widened in horror as she took this in, "what did you say?!"

"I said that you're not the reason I'm bringing Sasuke home. This, as much as you'd like it to be, is not all about you. There are others besides you who want Sasuke back," Naruto said evenly, never once even raising his voice. He had long ago learned that to make a scene was to make Sakura angrier than necessary. He turned and started to walk away from the girl, who hadn't budged. She just stood there, stunned into complete silence and immobility.

* * *

Naruto ended up sitting on one of Konoha's walls - the one that lay with a clear view of the main gate. He loved to sit up there - seeing the people making their way into and out of Konoha fascinated him. Konoha was his home. The first thing he felt an urge to protect. Naruto felt he had every right to know who was entering, and departing the village, seeing as one day, he would rule over it.

Thinking of protection, Naruto's thoughts wandered to the second thing he had a protective complex over. Sasuke.

He took the note out of his pocket; holding it open in his lap. The note, which he had memorised, but still didn't understand. He tried yet again to think about what Sasuke could have meant by this correspondence.

_Why leave it? To try and make me feel better? So I wouldn't worry?_

_Did Sasuke care, after all?_

_Or maybe it was like a final blow, intended to make me feel worse, even after the Valley of the End, which Sasuke had probably seen coming. He knew that we would have to have that final battle at some point._

_But, is Sasuke really that cruel? No. I won't believe it._

_But...what if?_

"Naruto!" Naruto looked to see Kotetsu waving at him from below.

"What?"

"Sakura's looking for you!" _Ouch. _

"Tell her you haven't seen me."

Kotetsu flickered, then appeared next to the blonde atop the wall.

"She's on the war-path, by the looks of it. Are you sure you don't just want to face up to her? Dude, what did you _do_ to her?!"

"I don't want to talk right now. Not to you, and definitely not to Sakura. Now go and tell her you can't find me. Tell her to check my apartment, or something. Somewhere far away from here."

"A'ight, if you're sure..."

"Go," Naruto muttered sternly, and Kotetsu was gone.

_So Sakura wants to 'talk' huh? She probably wants to argue with me, call me a jerk, then beat me up._

_Sakura wants me dead, Sasuke's been gone for three years, I haven't seen Iruka _or_ Kakashi in weeks... geez how crap is that?! The four people that I would talk to are all otherwise engaged!_

An image of Sakura with a list entitled: 'Reasons Why I Hate Naruto' in one hand, and the other curled into a glowing fist flashed through Naruto's mind. He would have found this comical had it not been extremely likely.

'_Sasuke's Departure' anniversaries always suck._

Naruto glared into the distance, remembering all the awful anniversaries that he had shared with Sakura. He glared down the long track leading up to the village, up at the sky, out into the forest, and straight at a figure that he would recognise anywhere, even when it was about a mile deep into the forest, heading directly towards Konoha, and him.

Naruto froze in an instant. He felt his body go completely cold, and it felt as if his heart had stopped. His lungs threatened to burst - apparently he had stopped breathing. He gasped, gulping air into his deprived lungs. His mind skidded to a complete standstill, and he nearly fell off the wall. Automatically, almost as if Naruto's body had extra reflex actions programmed, his hand gathered chakra, and came out to steady himself. He righted himself, then sat back in the position he was in before.

His eyes never once strayed from the person in the distance, even when his body threatened to fall.

He continued to gaze unblinking at the figure, who was fast approaching.

_Sasuke..._

* * *

_Na._

_Ru._

_To._

Each syllable which echoed through his mind coincided with one of Sasuke's feet hitting a branch, and each branch brought him closer to what he hoped was still waiting for him.

As Sasuke had the beginnings of the village walls in his sights, he thought he spotted a shock of blonde on top of one, and sincerely hoped his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.

As he got closer, his hopes were confirmed. Sasuke managed to contain himself, but wondered if he would be able to once his and Naruto's eyes met again after so long.

When he was even closer, he saw that Sakura had appeared beside Naruto, and that Naruto had not seemed to notice her, for he was facing the forest, completely still. Sakura was looking over Naruto's shoulder at something which lay in his lap.

The fact that Sasuke would be greeted by Naruto on his return to the village made him so pleased that the fact that Sakura would be there also did not sour his mood.

As he had just about reached the edge of the forest, Sasuke noted that Sakura had not seemed to have seen him approaching. She was still gazing at whatever lay in Naruto's lap. Naruto still looked like a statue, so maybe his initial shock had rendered him speechless, making him unable to tell Sakura that Sasuke was coming.

And it was then that Sasuke noticed that something was horribly wrong, as Sakura's fist connected with Naruto's head.

* * *

Naruto was falling.

Somewhere on his way down, he heard Sasuke's strangled cry, and felt his strong arms clamp around him as he broke his fall, ending his descent.

The last thing that Naruto felt was Sasuke's hold around him, and he knew that he belonged in that space - he fit in there perfectly, like it was moulded for him, so it was only fitting that his life should end there - the place that he had been looking for his entire life, like everyone else. Some people never even found their places, the places that they belonged. Naruto did, but he could only spend a few moments there.

Those few moments were bliss.

* * *

When people feel angry, scared, or betrayed, they sometimes make fatal mistakes, mistakes which haunt them for the rest of their lives. They constantly find themselves thinking: 'What if I hadn't done that? How would my life be different, now?'

But of course, it's always too late.

Then they think that, in order to erase the guilt, pain, or whatever other negative emotion they are feeling due to their mistake, they should believe that what they did was justified.

Denial, at those times, feels so good.

But of course, it doesn't last long.

Haruno Sakura, warped with rage which spawned from being deceived for three years, punched Uzumaki Naruto directly on his right temple. The moment she did so, accident or not (1), his fate was sealed, and tied up with a blood red bow.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke never forgave Sakura. Or himself for that matter, for not being fast enough. He never even set foot in Konoha after he stopped lying to himself and ascertained that Naruto wasn't going to open his eyes.

A piece of paper fluttered down and landed on the ground next to Naruto's motionless body. Sasuke seized it, and then kicked himself repeatedly as everything fell into place. That accursed note. Sakura had seen it, and lashed out at Naruto, blinded with fury and betrayal.

He had lied to her.

About the person she loved, and admired most.

About her precious person.

About Sasuke.

Sasuke, whom, due to her fatal error, she would never see again.

Sasuke crumpled the paper, and then ripped it into tiny little pieces, letting them take flight as a gust of wind came by at a convenient moment. He took one last look at Naruto before turning and running. He would never forget that image - it would be branded in his mind for all eternity.

This time, no-one could stop and bend down to help Naruto pick up the pieces of his shattered life.

This time the shards had turned to dust, completely irreparable, along with the remnants of Team Seven, Konoha's future that could have been stable, and Sasuke's heart.

It was then that Sasuke realised that his and Naruto's eyes had never met, and he nearly screamed. A part of him wanted to run back, and pull back one of his eyelids, just for one last look at that perfect electric blue.

The rest of him knew that he would never want to do such a thing. He only wanted to see Naruto's eyes open and sparkling.

Empty and lifeless was not an option.

But, after that day, that was how Sasuke always felt.

* * *

(1) She hadn't been aiming for a life threatening spot. Just thought I'd clarify.

I hope you enjoyed it! :)


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